It's Over
I finished up my radiation on Oct. 2. It's been almost 2 weeks and I'm starting to feel like my old self again. Last week I had 2 days where I felt so good that it made me realize just how bad I had been feeling. I still get tired, but not every day.
I saw the surgeon last week. I will have to go for a mammogram every 6 months. I asked about an MRI and was told they have too many false positives. I'm taking Tamoxeifen with no problems. The biggest side effect is hot flashes and I was already having them so not much has changed. I asked the doctor if the Tamoxeifen would make my periods finally stop and she said it probably would. I also asked if they were going to come back in 5 years when I quit taking. She laughed. I'd be 62 then and I can see me cashing my social security check so I can buy tampons!
The doctor was pleased that I had resumed my exercise classes and cycling. She felt that exercise was important in the healing process.
Many thanks to all my friends who have given me so much love and support. This the most terrified I have ever been in my life.

ONLY 5 MORE RADIATION TREATMENTS!!!
On Oct. 3, I will complete the last of my 35 radiation treatments. In spite of a rocky start, my skin and I have held up well. For the last 3 weeks, I've had to at least lie down for a while every day due to fatigue. This was tough to do at first, but I soon realized that I HAD to do it. I've been teaching my 4 classes at Gold's Gym every Tuesday and Thursday but stopped teaching my neighborhood classes on Mon/Wed/Fri. My winter schedule starts on Wednesday and I will have to teach on those days, but I'm only going to teach one class a day instead of two until I'm past all this.

This past Thursday was a very tough day for me. I taught my 4 classes at Gold's Gym in the morning and then stretched out on a mat in the gym for 30 minutes before driving to Palm Harbor for some aerobics training (required for my certification). The training wasn't strenuous, but I was very tired the whole time. I got home about 5:30 and went straight to bed. I found myself taking deep breaths like I had run a race. After about an hour or rest, I was fine, but don't intend to do that again. I have been able to ride my bike 48 miles every Saturday since I started the treatment. It's amazing that I feel no more tired when I do that than when I don't do anything. It's weird having to plan your day around the possibility of tiring out.

My skin has not burned on the outside. It gets a little pink, and I have what looks like a heat rash on my breast bone, but no burning. A lady at the cancer center who is a week behind me on treatments showed me her skin and it looked like she had been burned with an iron. I do have intermittent pain throughout the day. Sometimes it's a burning pain and sometimes it feels like my breast is in a vise. Fortunately, this only lasts a few minutes. I've used arnica gel, aloe cream and Aquafour from the very first day. I didn't think to put it on my breast bone at first because I didn't realize I would burn there. Arnica gel is a herbal ointment that is wonderful for muscle soreness and bruises. It soaks into the skin and works there.

I went back to my acupuncturist when the fatigue started. I think this has helped me a lot. My oncologist even approved. I would love to get a massage but it's too uncomfortable for me to lie on my stomach. The gym where I got the aerobics training had this massage machine where you lie down on your back. They let me try it. Wow! I'd love to have one at home. They are only $25,000!!!!

It Hit Me Like a Ton of Bricks!!!!
I'm a little more than half way through the radiation with only 16 more to go. After the shock of the first week, my body has adjusted and I've done very well. Tuesday I was tired but it was a stressful day with a lot going on (4 classes to teach, oil change, radiation, knit night in Palm Harbor). I trudged forward and told myself I would rest on Wed. I'm not sure what I did Wed., but I don't remember resting but I did get to bed by 10 which is early for me. Today (Thurs) I taught 4 classes, did a little shopping and went to radiation at 1:15. I got home a little after 2 and went straight to BED. I was exhausted. I slept for 2 hours (had weird dreams about burning hamburgers in the oven) and woke up refreshed. Now Harold says he wants hamburgers for dinner. Since I don't cook hamburgers in the oven, hopefully I won't burn them.
Oncologist says he's bumping my dosage up next week. I can hardly wait. My weight has remained steady but my blood count is down. It is well within normal but way down for me. I guess if you have to have cancer, it sure helps going into it as healthy a possible.

Things are settling down now
I think my body has finally adjusted to the radiation treatment. After shocking it the first week, things have settled down. I'm not in constant pain any longer. I do have bursts of pain throughout the day, but they don't last long and are tolerable. Along about Wednesday, I get queasy every time I eat, but this usually passes in about 30 minutes. I have 19 more sessions to go which means I'm almost halfway. I haven't had any skin irritation (yet). I always feel great on Sunday and Monday.
Every Monday, my blood is tested for white and red cell count and platelets. Radiation can play havoc with your blood. My counts have been extremely good. Every week, my bp is taken and it's better than ever. I haven't slept consistently this well in years. I had another period which was a normal one for a change.
I'm teaching 11 exercise classes a week and enjoying a 45+ bike ride every Saturday. I'm no more tired than usual. However, if I do get tired, I stop what I'm doing and take a short nap. I didn't allow myself this luxury before.

Radiation — Radiation — Radiation!!!!

I'm into my 2nd week of radiation and those who say there are no side effects are full of baloney. I've noticed some definite patterns in my physical wellbeing.
I get my treatment at 1:15 p.m. each weekday and here's what I've discovered.

First - I must eat dinner between 5 and 6:30 PM. After this time, a horrible taste is in my mouth and I have no appetite. If I try to eat after 6:30, I feel nauseous and cannot sleep. The nasty taste lasts until about 5 pm the next day, but the next day my appetite isn't affected as much.

Second - I must rest a couple of hours every afternoon.

Third - I cannot stand for anything to touch my breast at night — not even a lightweight nightgown or t-shirt. I have a skin allergy on my arms and sleep in gloves to keep from scratching. So here I am, completely naked except for the gloves. Can you imagine if there's a fire? It will look like I had time to put on gloves but not clothes. I guess when the weather gets cooler I'll add socks.

At first, these symptoms were very frustrating. The people at the Cancer Center (including the doctor) told me you do not have nausea from radiation. They said I had a virus. In fact, they've denied that anything I've felt is real.

You do not feel anything when you get radiation.
Yeah, well, ok. But I can tell you exactly where the radiation is on my breast. It's not pain, but an uncomfortable feeling. I definitely know when it crosses my nipple.

Your breasts are not warm after radiation.
Humph! No the radiated breast isn't warm, it HOT for several hours.

What's the procedure like?
Well, you lay upon this table in the exact position everyday. Then the therapists leave the room. A huge round disc comes up over my left side. It sounds and looks like something from a science fiction movie. But I'm not sure if Star Trek (with a cure) or War of the Worlds. This disc moves to 4 different locations and shoots radiation at you from 4 different angles. A monitor is barely in my vision, but I can see "how much" and "how long". I just figured that out yesterday.

Maybe I'm just more sensitive than most people or maybe I have a more vivid imagination. Whatever it is, it is real to me.

2 Down and 33 to GO

This has been a memorable week. I resumed all my exercise classes, rode 45 miles on my bike (first time since the surgery 6 weeks ago) and started radiation. Now I only have 33 more radiation sessions to go. I'm told not to expect any fatigue due to my good health and the small amount of radiation.

Last week, I went in to prepare for radiation. An uncomfortable plaster mold was made for me to lay on so I would be in the same position each time. I also got 3 tiny tattoos. I always wanted a tattoo would have preferred something more outrageous than black dots. The doctor and tech drew all sorts of marks on my breast. When I got home, I wanted to show my granddaughter my tattoos. Can you imagine the surprise when I saw a smiley face had been drawn on my breast with a red marker!

I've been gradually taking over my exercise classes. I put the weight training classes off to last for obvious reasons. I taught this class on Tuesday with on problems, but boy was I sore. Six weeks is too long to go without working with weights. I'm back to my my regular summer schedule of 11 classes a week.

And best of all, I can now ride my bike again. I tried riding 4 weeks ago but it was too much stress on my chest muscles. I tooled around the neighborhood on Wednesday with no pain at all. Today I went out and rode 45 miles!!! I didn't set any speed records but I was out there. I didn't get tired, but my butt was so sore from not riding for 6 weeks.

Well, I taught 3 exercise classes today — step and 2 senior classes. Then I came home and worked all afternoon on a graphic design project. It's 7:30 and I don't feel tired at all. I rode my bike around the block before going to the gym and I'm still not ready for a 50-mile ride. There's still a lot of tightness in my chest, but much less than last week. For 3 weeks and 2 days out of surgery, I think that's great!

It was 2 weeks ago today I had the lumpectomy and I feel great. I've been walking and riding the recumbent bike at the gym for an hour at the time. I even taught a spin class at Gold on Sat. I wasn't able to do much more than pedal, but gave everyone a good workout. I've also taught a couple of cardio classes this week. I still can't do anything with weights with my right arm, but it looks like I most of my range of motion back.

I took a ride around the block this morning on my bike. I never realized how much you had to use your chest muscles when cycling. I thought bumps would be a problem, but that didn't hurt at all. However, I immediately realized that cycling causes too much strain on my chest. So I've put the bike away for another week and will give it another try in a week.

I'm cutting back on the exercise tomorrow. I had to take a nap this afternoon. I have to see the surgeon in Clearwater on Friday at 8:30 am (1.5 hour drive). So I've decided to treat myself to a long walk on the beach afterwards.

What a Wonderful Week!
Isn't life grand? I started walking every day on Monday. I'm up to 3 miles at a decent pace. I'm still a bit sore, but not all the time. I went to the gym on Thursday and rode the recumbent bike for about an hour. I pushed some hard gears as I knitted and listened to my iPod. I went back to the gym yesterday (Sat) with the same intent. After about 45 minutes on the recumbent, the fitness coordinator came to me with a plea. The spin instructor had not shown up. She wanted to know if there was anyway I could teach the class. I didn't have to actually "do" the class, just lead it. So I gave it a go. (I haven't taught a spin class in about 7 years).
I sat on the back and just pedaled as I challenged everyone to climb mountains and engage in sprints. It was invigorating for me without overextending myself. I worked up a sweat and everyone was pleased.
I was a bit tired and had planned on driving to Palm Harbor for a morning of knitting. I debated and decided it was the same distance to Palm harbor as it was to home so why not go to Palm Harbor and rest there (which is exactly what I did).
I saw a couple of friends I hadn't seen in awhile and caught up on all the gossip.
Life is grand!!
BTW, I'm illustrating a Gloves and Mittens Knitting Book and charting for a publisher in England.

I just heard from the Pathology report. The margins on my surgery are clean. Which means the cancer was not invasive and I will not have to undergo chemotherapy. I have an appointment with the surgeon on July 18 and will get more information then. Things just get better and better.

We left for Clearwater at 4:45 am yesterday and arrived at the hospital at 6 as scheduled. I planned on staying up all night but actually went to bed around 11 and then right to sleep.

Everything moved along well. The surgery was only 15 minutes long but it took forever for me to wake up. I have a tough time with anesthesia. At least I didn't get sick and throw up like I usually do.

When I woke up I had some pain which they quickly relieved and after that I've had very little pain. We got home at 1:30. I called my family on the way home since I was still pretty high on pain meds and felt so good. I continued feeling great yesterday afternoon and last night with absolutely zero pain. Amazing. I wasn't able to eat anything but saltines because the drugs and anesthesia made me queasy feeling.

Today, I'm very tired and will be taking it easy. I stopped the heavy duty drugs and went to Tylenol so I could start eating something besides saltines. I'm still not having any pain but expect soreness to step in which is normal.

Best of all I have no STITCHES at all. Just a little piece of tape. I can remove the dressing tomorrow and begin doing whatever I feel like doing after that. I go for my post op in a couple of weeks.

I can honestly say this was much easier than having my wisdom teeth removed.
Thanks for all the prayers, love and positive energy sent my way. I couldn't have done this without you.

When Harold had cancer 2 years ago, he said I was worse off than he was. Well, now he understands because he was much worse off then me yesterday with all the worry, wait and helplessness. I sent him off to work today without hesitation.

Tomorrow is my big day. I have to be at Mease Morton Hospital at 6 am. I'm all psyched up and ready to go and get this thing behind me. I taught 4 exercise classes this morning and pretty much wore everyone out but myself.

Everyone has been so supportive. One of my Silver Sneakers brought me a crystal today. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness.

I've been hand carding cotton to have something to spin while I'm recovering. I thought using hand cards might be a bit difficult right after surgery but spinning will be so relaxing.

Tonight I'm going to Uncommon Threads to hang out with my knitting group. What a great bunch of gals. They keep everyone's spirits up for sure.

As soon as I'm able, I'll make a post after the surgery to let everyone know I'm fine. Thanks for everything!

Well, I'm getting down to the short rows. Only 3 days to surgery.

It's been a busy week for me (thank goodness). I spent 4 days driving to Tampa to take spinning lessons. It's only 38 miles to the Convention Center in Tampa, but it take over an hour and half to drive it each way because the traffic is so bad. You couldn't pay me enough to make that commute every day.

The lessons were well worth the drive. The instructor (Rita Buchanon) came out of retirement to teach this one week. We spun everything from cotton, bamboo, tencel, and ramie to wool. Rita is a botanist and weaver too. She had a world of information to share with us. Did you now you could spin fiber from KUDZU!!???!!! Now that's scary but you can harvest a fiber from the kudzu vine when it goes dormant in the winter. I fought kudzu the whole time I lived in SC and didn't think it was good for anything.

I did my last bike ride before my surgery yesterday. It was warm and humid but I managed to get 50 miles in before 10:30. I can tell when it starts heating up because when I get home, I need a nap. When it's not so hot, I come home and clean house.
I planned on cleaning house Monday, but we got a call from someone who had seen our house was for sell on the internet. So Harold and I did a whirlwind cleaning. I'm glad that's behind me and I can do whatever I want to do tomorrow. (The people seemed interested, but you never know).

In spite of the threat of rain, I was determined to get my 50-mile bike ride in. I lucked out and only got sprinkled on the last 15 miles or so. I could see this huge black cloud to the west that was going south the same as I was. I've heard that storms usually travel 15 mph so I slowed down and let it get ahead of me. It was a good plan.

Tonight we went to the Rays baseball game. It was Stitch and Pitch night. For some reason our seats were not with our friends and I had a lousy time. I couldn't get into the game and missed having someone to chat with. This has put me in a most depressing mood tonight. I hope I can sleep well.

Tomorrow should be better. I have my day of spinning class. I've been spinning a couple of years and have been able to make usable yarn but I'd really like to prefect this. I figure this will put me 4 days closer to the surgery which I'm really starting to dread but want to get it over with.

I went today for my pre opt. There were no surprises and I was out in record time. So now it's just wait until July 2 for the surgery. I'm definitely going to enjoy the next week and half. Tomorrow I'm going for my usual Saturday 50-mile bike ride. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I'm going to Convergence (Handweavers Guild of America big convention) in Tampa and will be taking a day-long spinning class each day. I've been wanting to do this for a long time and I'm not going to put off anything like this again.

I was so excited yesterday, that I didn't give very much detail as to what's going on. There are 5 stages of cancer. The stages refer to the size of the tumor. Since I have no tumor, I'm in stage 0. This is very, very good. There are 3 grades of cancer. I'm between 1 and 2 which means I have both slow-growing normal looking cells and cells that do not look normal and are growing a bit faster. The surgeon was impressed that the radiologist picked up on this because the cancer is so small.

I stopped by Gold's Gym to tell my senior classes the good news and to get lots of hugs.

I spent all afternoon yesterday sending emails and calling family and friends. I want to thank everyone for their well wishes.

I'm going to Tampa tonight to meet some friends at Panera Bread for dinner and then we are having our knitting meetup at B&N in Carrolwood. It will be good to be with a lot of friends.

Good News! I saw the surgeon today. It appears that I am in the very, very early stage of breast cancer. There is no tumor and the cancer has no size. I am in stage 0 which means it is an non invasive cancer which left untreated could become invasive. It is so small that he complimented the radiologist picking up on it at all.

On July 2, I will have a lumpectomy as an outpatient. Now that really does please me — no hospital stay. I can probably drive in a week, resume teaching my senior exercise classes in 2 weeks and resume teaching all my classes in 4 weeks. Once I heal from the surgery I will have to undergo radiation therapy 5 days a week for 6 weeks.

I was so relieved after hearing this that when I got to the car I literally broke down and cried my heart out. They were tears of relief and I couldn't stop. I don't think I've ever had a cry like that before.

I want to thank everyone for their good wishes, prayers, positive energy and just being there for me.

I'm gearing myself up for the big day with the surgeon tomorrow. I have 2 pages of questions thanks to my brave friends who have gone through this already.

I get more and more agitated as the appointment draws nearer. I hardly slept a wink last night. I hope I do better tonight. I can do ok missing one night of sleep, but it soon catches up with me. I did nap a little bit today. I sat down to knit and watch a video on dyeing fiber. That put me right to sleep. Maybe that's what I should do tonight if I can't sleep — get up and watch and educational video.

I didn't turn the computer on yesterday. I was too busy. I biked my morning 48 miles, rushed in for a shower and then went to the World Wide Knit in Public Day at Citrus mall. There were about 10 of us. I saw a lot of old friends and made some new friends. We went out to dinner when I got home and that was about it.
I have a couple of freelance jobs I can't talk about until they are finalized and I've been working like crazy on them. One was completed today and the other is just now getting started. So I've been busy all day.
Harold and I did take some time to run out to the flea market to pick up some fresh produce.
Did you ever feel like you were moving in slow motion and no matter what you did you couldn't make yourself move any faster? I personally don't like feeling like this. I get more anxious the closer I get to my appointment with the surgeon. That's probably why I'm so weirded out.

I think teaching aerobic exercise has been the best therapy for me. I have to be upbeat to keep everyone motivated. I can't let them see that I'm depressed or scared. Sometimes when you act happy, you find that you actually are happy. I tell my seniors to surround themselves with happy people. Stay away from negative people. I've always made it a point to be around happy people — people who made me laugh and feel good. Having all these wonderful people around me with positive energy will keep me strong, help me face what's coming up and help me heal much faster.

Today has been kind of a bummer. I taught my 4 classes this morning and enjoyed it immensely. I told my 2 Silver Sneaker classes about the cancer and more than half the women in the class told me they had also had breast cancer. Everyone was concerned and encouraging.
I talked to Connie who owns the gym and she started crying. I didn't want her to feel any pain because of me. I was touched and saddened too.
I went to Target after exercise and just walked around in a daze. I felt like I wasn't really there. It as such a strange feeling.
My friends who have had breast cancer have been very supportive and giving me all sorts of information and advice. I appreciate this so much.

Now all I have to do is wait.
I have an appointment with a surgeon on June 27 at 3 pm. His name is Dr. Blumbeneranz. Dr. Blumbeneranz is a surgical oncologist and medical director of Moffitt Morton Plant Cancer Care. He's a breast man (what man isn't). Actually he only does breast surgery and I'm not talking implants. I mean serious breast surgery.

I still have a lot think about and decisions to make. I probably won't be posting everyday now until I see Dr. Blumbeneranz. I'm making a list of questions and concerns. Even though I feel that this cancer can easily be cured, I want to know what I can do to prevent this from coming back. My first thought is a radical mastectomy. If they aren't there, then no cancer can be there. (I can also get the "B" cup I always wanted.)

If you want to post a comment, just hit the word comments right below this paragraph. If you have any suggestions for questions and concerns I need to ask the doctor, please send them my way. Thank you for all the prayers and positive energy. I think it's because of all of you, the second spot disappeared. I should have called on you earlier.
Cindy

Today is a good day. I went to have an MRI guided biopsy. This is cutting edge technology where they do an MRI to pinpoint the problem and can biopsy just that area with great accuracy. The great thing is that they couldn't find the spot and this was the spot the radiologist thought most suspicious. What that means is that "hormones" (I do not and have never taken hormone replacement therapy) were causing the abnormality and once they settled down it went away. Cancer doesn't go away. So another biopsy wasn't necessary. Right now I'm juiced up on the Valium they pumped in me and feel great.
I will still have to have lumpectomy on the other spot they found, but it is a noninvasive cancer (DCIS) and I will not need chemo. However, I will have radiation therapy.
I'll keep everyone posted when the surgery is scheduled. Now I can breathe.

I've come to realize that I think about my health problem about every 10 minutes. I find that it is interesting how the brain works that way. When I'm busy I don't think about it but when I stop what I'm dong for only a moment, it creeps into my brain. I don't get upset but I notice it. I guess this is normal. I personally don't thing there is a such thing as "normal". I've never felt like a "normal" person. I always knew I was a bit out there and it's never bothered me. I call it uniqueness rather than abnormal (that sounds so clinical). So cheers to all you "unique" people out there. The more unique — the better.

I have spent the better part of the day uploading my original knitting patterns to the internet. This takes a lot of time. But at least it is something to do.

I talked to my mom. She got upset this time for a bit but I was able to calm her down. She said my younger brother got very upset when she called him. I got an email from him and let him know I was alright. You never know how your illness will affect those who love and care about you.

Today has been a most positive day. I started the day off with a 46-mile bike ride. If you don't think there are hills in Florida, then come on down and I'll show you some doozies! One was particular hard and my legs started hurting. I hadn't hurt like that since I rode in KY. It was worth every bit of it. I met some new riding buddies and we had a great time.
I was really tense last night and had a hard time getting to sleep. Harold was so sweet. He rubbed my body until I relaxed and went to sleep. His touch was so warm and gentle. I don't know what I would do without him.
I was crocheting a little seashell today with a tiny crochet hook and #10 crochet thread. I've never crocheted with anything like that before and it didn't hurt my hands like crocheting with yarn and a larger hook. Well, the shell is a little whop sided so I may give it another go.
As I was crocheting, I remembered I took out a cancer policy about 2 years ago for $15 a month. It was like a light bulb going off in my head. I pulled the policy out and see that I will receive enough money to pay all our deductibles and out-of-pocket expenses. I bought the insurance more as a favor than feeling I would actually ever need it.

I slept better last night than I thought I would. I was just starting to make some bread when I got the news yesterday. My bread hadn't been coming out well lately. I took my frustrations out on the bread and kneaded the hell out of it. I slammed it, pinched it, tore it, etc. The bread turned great! And it was good therapy.

Last night after I went to bed I thought of all the things I want to say. I thought about all the brave women who have fought breast cancer. Their sacrifices has made a cure possible. I thought about all the knitting and spinning I would get done while recovering.

My daughter-in-law, Lisa, is a nurse in radiology at Greenville General in Greenville, SC. I told her what my treatment had been so far and what was going to happen next and she was impressed with the technology. My biopsy next week will be MRI guided. Not many hospitals have this cutting edge technology. I feel fortunate to live in a place that does.

I have signed up for 4 days of spinning classes at Convergence in Tampa from June 22-25. I was reluctant to do this because it's expensive and I will have to drive to Tampa everyday, but hey, life doesn't wait for you. Better grab what comes by when you can. I hope they can schedule my surgery the very next week.

I heard from the gym and my job is secure. I already have someone who is going to take over my classes while I'm out. I don't know why I was so worried about that. It seems so trivial now.

I told my family last night. It was easier to do than I thought it would be. Harold wanted me to wait until I had the other biopsy but I needed to share this with them now. It's one less thing I have to worry about. Of course, everyone was shocked, but I was able to let them know that I was going to be ok.

I also shared the news with as many friends as I could think of via email. I've gotten wonderful well wishes and support. It feels great to have so many people thinking of you.

I am being treated at The Susan Cheek Needler Breast Center in Clearwater. My doctor is Teresa A. Howard, M.D. who graduated from the Medical School: University of Kentucky School of Medicine, Lexington, KY. Board Certification: American Board of Radiology
Subspecialties: Body Imaging, Breast Imaging and Intervention.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer today (June 5) at 2:30. The cancer is DCIS.
My doctor called to tell me it wasn't breast cancer and then 10 minutes later called me back and told me it was. I went from a big high to a terrible low. I have to have another biopsy next Tuesday morning. The results of this biopsy will determine if I have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. The surgeon will decide if I need chemotherapy or not. With this type of cancer, I may only need radiation.
After my biopsy next week, I will set up an appointment with a surgeon. Surgery will probably be the end of June (that's what I'm hoping). The cancer is not life-threatening and I'm grateful for that.
There will be times when I write my personal feelings. Writing things down and going back and reading them helps me cope. Right now I feel angry.
I'm an aerobics instructor and have the best job I've ever had. I hope the gym doesn't feel like I need to be replaced. I hope I can find someone to take my classes until I'm able to return.
If you would like to send me comments and well-wishes please do so through the comments sections this blog so I can go back and read often.